So the feedback from the first post was interesting. There were some messages I received in which people were grateful for the story I shared and confessed they had been involved in similar situations and how uncomfortable it made them to. There were other messages, however, in which people actually told me, ‘maybe it was a joke’. I can firmly, and without a doubt in my mind, say that this was not a joke. It was said numerous times and damaged a friendship. With that being said, there will be a slight tweek to this page in the upcoming weeks to support what others and myself have gone through with similar instances.
Now- it’s time for story number two.
The Pie Guy
This story is going to be filled with giggles and way more lighthearted than the last post.
We all date that one guy who we are like, ‘how does this guy like me?’
For me- it was a guy my junior year of college.
He was a little goofy but he was super sweet and a big nerd. I adored it and thought he was exactly who I needed to be with.
Turns out after about two months- I was way off.
Dude wound up getting really weird on me, became a recluse, and killed my fish.
I think it was an accident because it died some time over Thanksgiving break. RIP Wyatt the Beta fish.
We broke up, he graduated that year, and that was a done deal.
When he graduated, I deleted his number. I later switched from an iPhone to a Droid for about two years.
Upon getting a new iPhone, I realized that my iCloud had stored phone numbers that had long been misplaced. I saw his name pop up in this group of contacts that had been recovered and decided that I would reach out to him to see how he was.
He was immediately happy to hear from me and we conversed quite a bit. Sometimes I didn’t answer because I didn’t feel like it or just because there was nothing to the conversation.
I had just ended a relationship when this guy decided that he was going to try and ‘rekindle’ the flame. I wanted no part of this because I was filled with rage and ready to roll down the path of not dating anyone for a period of time just because I thought it was a good decision for myself. Welp, that is when the Pie Incident occurred.
This guy had always commented on how pretty I was in college and how my weight did not and does not matter. (Side note: I just really like ice cream and I don’t really care but I do engage in cardio after work.)
So, one day he decides to send me a picture of his body.
I was at work and this was totally unprovoked.
I looked at my coworker with a bewildered look on my face and went, ‘WHAT JUST HAPPENED TO ME!’ We got a really good laugh out of it for a moment and then I responded with, ‘sorry, I don’t look like this.’
He then asked to see a current picture of me.
I jumped from my chair, ventured into the bathroom, and took a picture of me standing in the mirror, fully clothed and smiling.
He responded with: “I would eat pie off of that tummy.”
I had tears coming out of my eyes laughing. Now mind you, I haven’t seen this guy in years and this is the crap he is sending me. My coworker and I are cracking up and getting looks from people down the row as we cannot control ourselves. This was so out of the blue and who the heck brings up pie?
AND FURTHERMORE- WE STILL WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT KIND OF PIE BECAUSE THIS ALL COULD GET MESSY!
I then wrote back, tears streaming down my face from laughing, ‘well, I would like to eat my pie off of your eight pack’.
‘I would eat pie off of your ass.’
I lost it. Who comes up with this stuff? I’m not choking on my cigarette outside and laughing like a hyena.
The only thing that resonated through my mind was the lone response I gave him prior to causing my coworker to lose it.
‘What if I fart?’
I can’t remember the response back but he did play along into it.
I just look back at things like this and laugh. What possessed you to shoot me a message and where the heck did the pie come from?
Hopefully the intended pie was like Key Lime or something that wouldn’t get that messy.
(I’ve had to stop typing multiple times now because I am cracking up all over again.)
But this still goes along with the whole concept of ‘keep it to yourself’.
I had told a few friends about it and constantly got pictures or gifs of pie for like a week and it was honestly really funny. But seriously-
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